Monday, July 18, 2011

Everything has a beginning...

Oi! You! Wha'z dat you'z got on yer 'ead? Why wud you'z wear humie stuff? You'z Blood Axes be'z the most strangester uv da klans...

Wut you'z be doin' 'ere in muh werkshop? Dun't you'z knowz who you'z talkin' to, you weedy li'l git? I be da kunninest Mek you'z gunna see in dis 'ere camp, and I build da stompiest Dreads and da krushiest wagons. I make the fastest trukks and the boomingest kannons you'z ever gunna see. Wut you'z need iz da teef ta be buyin' muh kreashuns.

You'z dun't 'ave da teef, dooz ya'z? Den git outta 'ere you fungus-hidin' grot-luvvin' humie! Git!

Wha'? O, you'z from da warboss? Wutz 'Eadsmasha want now? Shurr, I'z werkin' on anuvva Dread, an' dis one be da stompiest, killiest, smashiest fing evva since Gork 'imself stept 'iz li'l toe on dem Mah-reen boyz awhilez back. Ah, dat was a gud scrap, dat was! You'z wants to see da Dread? Come ou'side wiv me an'z I showz ya...

Oh-keez, 'ere we'z go. Now ree-membah dat dis iz still undah kunstruct-shun, so dere be lotza rivvetz and boltz and fings still ta go. Dis 'ere be da beginnin', dis be the 'ead and da en-jen and da 'ard bitz on da arms...



You'z wanna look closuh? Go a'ead. Look dere, dat'z where all da rokkits be. HA! HUH HUH huh... you'z fink you'z gunna be da pie-lott? Le'ss see 'ow many'z teef ya got...


Go a'ead, klime ta da top. You'z can see all the speshul wirin' I'z had ta do for dem rokkits to shoot. Her her, dey make da loudes' boomz, an' dey iz dead killy.


Frum up dere you'z kan e'en see da 'hard parts fer da arms. Wutz dem humies call dem? Da shouldah pedz, err somefink like dat.


An' look dere, on dat side iz da talliest lookem-out towah fer yer best grots to lookem-out frum. Be'z shure dey'z got da best looky-stick, cuz dey'z gunna be high. 'Ave you'z got gud grots? Cuz I'z prob-lee gunna putz on lots uv mo' rokkits on da towah...

Oh. An' look a' dis side 'ere, see all the sharp plates? Dem iz all stabby, fer smashin' uvva dreads and stompy fings.

An' I gived dis 'ere ma-sheen da supa-est en-jen. Itz got lotza ex-haust and powah fer makin' it go fast.

Ta-morruh I'z iz proh-lee gunna make da iron gob fer da 'ead, and sum uv mah bes' grot oilahs iz werkin' on da shootiest boom gun you'z gunna see, 'sept fer maybe on da killkrooza'z. You fink Warboss 'Eadsmasha 'as da teef ta be gettin' dis? We'll see...

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